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“She Put the Piñata on a Pedestal”

She got a Nipyata for her party, and as she strung it up, the mystique hung heavy in the hot summer air.  The guests, intrigued at the sight, whispered quietly to each other, "What could it contain?"  "Who would be the one to open it?"  "When is this happening?"  As a warm breeze blew through the trees, the Stay Classy Burrito swayed and swung around revealing the bright, bold NIPYATA! logo, and the party erupted into thunderous cheers.  The echoes bounced off the surrounding houses, causing dogs to bark, birds to flock from trees, and irate neighbors to shout “SHUT UP!” from their windows.  The party guests raised their hands, fists clenching bottles and pumping them in the air in a reverential...

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Is a $400 Booze Pinata from NIPYATA! the Lit Christmas Gift of 2016?

NIPYATA! just released their most luxurious product yet- a 40" tall Stack of Presents Pinata with 100 Nips inside! For a mere $399.99 this beauty can be yours.  Here are the FAQ on this beast of a Holiday Gift. Is this thing really worth $399???!!  Sure, $399 seems like a pretty penny. But when you factor in that it'll probably cost NIPYATA! $150 to ship this behemoth, you're getting a serious deal. And you'll instantly become the most desirable person at your Holiday Party or Family Christmas Weekend at home. Will people think I'm a total douche if I spend $400 on a booze pinata? Yes, many people will think you're a royal douche. But you probably don't want to...

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Here, Hold My Beer: Nipyata's Guide to Handling the Holiday Season Like a Pro

Holla holla daze, y'all!  This holiday season, everyone's stressed.  AF.  But you don't have to be.  The lifestyle experts on Nipyata!'s Wellness Team have devised a program to get you through this holiday season stress free.  Follow these five simple rules and you'll reach 2017 in peak physical and mental condition: 1.  Get online.  Skip the mall.  Skip the crowds. Skip traffic.  Point and click, point and click, point and click...BOOM, done!  Gifts for everyone!  And you haven't even had your coffee yet.  Now you have the rest of the day to get back online and watch porn...which is what you wanted to do anyway. 2.  Wear ugly sweaters.  Not just to an Ugly Sweater Party, but every day.  Wear them to work, brunch, church,...

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Talkin' shop with Applied Mechanics trade journal

Our chief design engineer sat down for a one-on-one with the trade journal “Applied Mechanics” and became increasingly agitated with the questions.  Partial transcript of the interview follows. .................................................................... Applied Mechanics:  Hi, thanks so much for taking the time today.  We’re fascinated with the latest pinatas and we’re excited to hear about how you go from initial concept to final production. Nipyata:  Thanks for having me.  How long will this take? AM:  15 minutes, maybe longer? N:  Let’s make it quick.  Care for a nip? AM:  Uh, it’s 10am, I think I’ll pass.  So, you’ve been with Nipyata! since the early days? N:  I’m having a nip.  The Company is only two years old, so I’d say they’re still in...

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Our top 5 funniest Nipyata! Fortune messages created by customers

  If you've been living under a rock for the past two years, you probably don't know what our patent pending Nipyata! Fortunes are. The easiest way to explain the concept is think Truth or Dare meets Cards Against Humanity meets The Pinata meets Airplane Bottles of Booze.  The Nipyata! is no ordinary Pinata - this is an Adult Strength personalized drinking game for people who are party professionals.  When you place an order for a Nipyata! you can personalize the Fortune Cookie inspired messages we attach to the airplane bottles of booze. Here's a list of some of our favorites from some of our more creative, witty and frankly perverted/demented customers (whom we love.) 1. "Rock out with your...

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